The Emptiness of Joy

I'm having a hard time today. Actually, I've been having a hard week...no, make that month.

Despite all the joy of welcoming a new life into the world...a miracle in the form of a tiny little boy...and knowing that another is on the way. On the edge of all that happiness, is the sharp stab of pain that Tim is not here...not here to share in all the joy...not here with me.

I feel as if I'm having a tremendous pity-party just to admit that. While I have around me a wonderful network of family and friends, none of them can fill the void that is left by him. And, I know that I love and serve a God who is personal, who can and does meet all my needs. I ... still ... miss ... Tim.

Now, when I dream of Tim, he's well. Not depleted as he was in those final days by ALS (or Lyme...or whatever combination of thief that took him from this world). No, he's upright, vocal, and we are usually arguing. Just like the "good old days." How we loved to argue! We had unspoken rules, though, and only rarely would either one of us hit "below the belt." It was more a form of verbal sparring, a debate. If he was losing, he would say something ridiculous to make me laugh. And it would be over. And just about every fight ended with us still loving each other.

I still love him. And I still miss him. I've missed him for more than the year since he died.

I will take the next step and keep going. And keep remembering.

How Good It Is to Be GRAND!

I went from Good to Great when I officially became a Grandmother this week!!! I don't even know if I have the words to describe the sheer joy that entails...but I shall try!

Wesley James Finical made his arrival into the world the day before my 52nd birthday at 1331 hours (I tried really hard to remember how to use military hours, but it's not that easy...fortunately 1:31 p.m. isn't that hard to convert!). He weighed a whopping 7 lbs. 15 oz. and was 20 inches long (I wonder if they included his long monkey toes in that measurement, 'cause they are loooooooong and oh, so adorable!). Best early birthday present ever!

This precious bundle of joy was supposed to be here by August 24th, but was so comfy and cozy in momma's tummy that he had to be served an eviction notice! (I have a pic of the post-it note of the "eviction notice" she sent to notify us of his new expected due date. Too cute!) So the plan was that Kristen would be induced on September 1st.

I wanted to do whatever I could to help Kristen & Ryan, but not be in the way. I was so thrilled to know there was something I could do to help. I drove down that morning to take my three granddogs to the kennel and then I headed to the hospital. Good thing I got there when I did, because once Wesley was served his eviction notice, he didn't delay his arrival by much!

Turns out, all it took was breaking Kristen's water and Wesley decided it was time to come out (much like his momma & uncle, too. Once his exclusive suite became less hospitable, he was ready to meet the world!).

Ryan's granddad Bob and grandma Gerri were already at the hospital by the time I arrived and it was so much fun to brag on "the kids" together while we awaited the next generation's much-anticipated arrival.

When I went back to see Kristen and Ryan, they were doing so well. She was having contractions and smiling through them. While she was breathing through the contractions, Ryan was gently rubbing her back and helping her with whatever felt good to her at the time (until not much felt good). What a joy to see the love and partnership between these two!

Birthing babies sure has changed since I had mine, though. Watching Kristen sit on her bouncing gym ball (looked like a giant "hippity-hop" without the handle) and rock side-to-side, I thought, "That's not labor...you're having too much fun!" haha. Then I saw her face. Nope...that wasn't fun. I remembered. Labor is called labor because it is WORK! But it was good to see that she could sit, stand, rock, roll...do whatever was comfortable to help bring Wesley into the world.

When it became obvious that I was quite superfluous, and that her contractions were coming quite close together, I went back to the waiting room to do just that...wait. It wasn't really a long wait. We heard the lullaby song over the hospital loudspeaker several times and wondered each time if that was "our" baby arriving.

Due to HIPAA privacy, the nurses couldn't just come out and tell us that Wesley had arrived. We learned the new-fangled way. Ryan sent a text! We got the basics 7 lbs 15 oz 20" @ 1:31 pm and were overjoyed!

A bit later, Ryan came into the waiting room...or should I say that he floated in? The proud papa told us how handsome Wesley was...how great Kristen had done without pain meds...and that he was feeling 10-feet tall. His smile was certainly evidence of his pride and joy...in his wife and their newborn son. My eyes well with tears of joy just remembering how he beamed. He didn't stay with us long...he was very eager to return to his wife and son.

We were allowed to come back to their room and I can't begin to describe the love that swelled up in my heart to see my beautiful, brilliant daughter holding her handsome son. He was absolutely adorable, so very handsome! (And I'm not the least bit biased...we checked with everyone who entered the room and have been quite reassured that he really is a beautiful baby...it's not just our opinion!)

Wesley came into the world with a full head of dark hair. Kristen was pretty much bald as a baby and had blonde hair until she was a teenager and Ryan was quite tow-headed. Both sides of the family have had babies with dark hair and some had their dark hair fall out to be replaced with lighter locks. Not sure what will occur with Wesley, but he is perfect either way.

He has long fingers like his mom, long toes...so far, from the top of his face he looks like Ryan (hoping those baby blue eyes stay), and the bottom of his face looks like Kristen. He has a "turtle" neck that he stretches out and already tries to hold up his head. He has his Grandpa Tim's tiny ears, which are so very cute. His head was kind of cone-shaped at birth (of course, due to coming through the birth canal), but is rounding out day by day. He has perfect bow-shaped lips and a tiny little turned-up nose and chubby rosy cheeks that just beg to be kissed and cuddled. One of his most charming features already is that he is so expressive...he already gives us "the eyebrow" just like his mommy. Lord only knows if he will use it for good! :-)

Oh, how I have eagerly anticipated all the joy this precious little boy will bring. And he has not disappointed one tiny bit. No, sir, he has surpassed all expectations far beyond my wildest dreams. He has already overflowed my heart with such love I just can't contain it.

With that said, that's all I'm willing to share. I'm going to selfishly hold on to how amazing it feels to hold him in my arms, to snuggle him and kiss his little head, to listen to all the silly little noises this wonderful little animal impersonator makes.

Wesley is my grandson. Wesley is my grand son. I hope to be a good grandmother. I hope to be a great grandma. But for now, it is oh, so great just to be grand!!!

Richard III - Historical Enigma in Honor of Royal Re-Burial March 26, 2015

I wrote this for my college English lit research paper (for which I received an A+!)...I still find Richard's story fascinating. Given our modern media's propensity to "slant a story," it shouldn't surprise me that the same could be true hundreds of years ago. I hope you enjoy...

Richard III:  Historical Enigma

            "I am a villain:  yet I lie, I am not...every tongue brings in a different tale, and every tale condemns me for a villain.  Perjury, in the highest degree."

            So speaks Shakespeare's King Richard in the most famous characterization of the Yorkist king who ruled England from 1483 to 1485.  Richard III's short reign, however, is not the reason for his fame.  Richard is best remembered as a diabolical hunchback who murdered his way to the throne.  The question of Richard's guilt or innocence in the alleged murder of his nephews has been argued for centuries.  On one hand, loyal Ricardians staunchly maintain Richard's innocence.  Yet on the other, history books still refer to Richard as the most probable perpetrator in the disappearance and likely murders.  Researchers have been unable to uncover any contemporary evidence.

            Richard Plantagenet, Duke of Gloucester, was an excellent administrator and soldier, a fact acknowledged by historians certain of Richard's guilt in addition to defenders of his innocence.  A loyal subject who supported his brother, King Edward IV, even to the point of sharing his exile.

            Richard's brother, Edward IV, ruled during civil war -- the War of the Roses.  The Plantagenets were Yorkists, whose coat of arms depicted white roses.  The Lancastrian dynasty represented by roses of red.  Edward IV reigned during this turbulent period striving to resume peace and unity during his 22 years on the throne.  England embraced the blonde six-foot 'Sun of York' king with open arms and hearts.

            Three Yorkist brothers hold a unique notoriety in English history.  Edward, the eldest, was a renowned ladies' man; George, Duke of Clarence and the middle brother, remembered for drowning in a vat of ale.  And Richard, the youngest, remembered as a murderous uncle.

            The defamation of Richard's character can be traced to historians and chroniclers under Tudor reign.  Shakespeare's famous tragedy was written in 1597 -- 112 years after Richard's death.  Shakespeare's characterization was based upon Sir Thomas More's The Life and Reign of Richard the Third.  Sir Thomas More was five years old at the time of Richard's death in the Battle of Bosworth and a protege of Richard's worst enemy.

            Edward secretely married Elizabeth Woodville, an older, ambitious widow regarded as an upstart by peers of the realm.  After he made every effort to lure her, she admitted she was not good enough to be his queen, but protested she was far too good to become his mistress.  With Edward's reputation, it is surmised that the blue-eyed enchantress fended off Edward's amorous advances until he offered marriage and fulfilled his promise on May 1, 1464.

            This Queen Elizabeth exercised considerable influence over her husband.  Edward frequently detained his brother, George of Clarence, for overstepping the bounds of familial tolerance.  Edward eventually arrested Clarence for subtle and overtly treasonable acts.  Elizabeth Woodville's power was significant; it is probable Clarence was put to death at her insistence.

            Richard married Anne Neville in 1472, after securing her sanctuary from his brother Clarence.  Married to Anne's sister, Clarence's interest in who married his sister-in-law centered on the Neville sisters' inheritance.  King Edward interceded between George and Richard; Clarence agreed Richard could marry his sister-in-law provided Clarence did not have to share the Neville estates.  To the king's relief Richard accepted.

            The twenty-year-old bridegroom and his sixteen-year-old second cousin seemed compatible as they departed from court life.  In 1473, Anne gave birth to a son, whom they named Edward, doubtless in honor of his uncle.  It appears Richard's marriage was happy, that he gave Anne Neville his heart as well as his name.

            The drama of Richard's alleged treachery arose after the death of Edward, whose indulgent lifestyle eventually took its toll.

            At his deathbed, Edward summoned his court's two rival factions, but not his Queen.  Edward addressed those assembled with the authority not of a king, but of the dying.  Without love between them, his son, the kingdom and his court would all be brought to ruin.  They were moved to tears as Edward sighed and dismissed them.  The strength which the kingdom and his sons needed did not lie in these men.  There was only one man capable of ordering the realm and subduing the actions which split the court.  A man he loved well and who, he knew, loved him... Richard, Duke of Gloucester.

            Edward summoned his executors.  Lord Stanley was added to the king's will; the queen Elizabeth dropped.  With real humility, the weakening King asked his executors to pay his debts and distribute a good portion to the poor.  Then, aware his last minutes were numbered, he added the important codicil to his will, bequeathing his boy heir and his realm to the protection of his brother Richard, Duke of Gloucester.. Richard's popularity gave Edward more than one reason to trust his remaining brother whose political allegiance, unlike that of Clarence, had not wavered. 

            Edward IV died on April 9, 1483, three weeks before his forty-first birthday.

            On learning of the death of his brother and liege, Richard hastened to London from the North in mourning attire.  Richard wrote letters to console the queen and assured all duty, fealty, and due obedience to his new king and lord, Edward the fifth.  Richard journeyed to York with a small retinue of knights where he performed a solemn funeral service and the accompanying nobility took oaths of fealty to the late king's son.  Taking the oath first was Richard himself.          Upon reaching the young king, Richard greeted him with affection and respect, kneeling to him as a king.  Edward V announced his impending departure so he could be crowned in all haste.

            Arrangements were made for Edward's funeral.  He lay in state for eight days attired in red leather shoes and wrapped in a white robe, watched over night and day until his burial on Sunday, April 20th.

            Custom required Parliamentary sanction of the Council's arrangements to govern the realm during Edward V's minority.  The English people were not entirely pleased by the prospect of another child-king and Richard made some effort to postpone the coronation.  The Council debated two options:  That Richard govern because Edward had so directed or that the government be carried on by many with the duke as chief.  The latter was chosen.

            Richard postponed the coronation until June 22nd.  On June 21, Robert Stillington, Bishop of Bath and Wells, revealed to Richard that the children of Elizabeth Woodville and King Edward were illegitimate because the King had been betrothed to another when he secretly married Elizabeth.

            In medieval times, a betrothal contract was as binding as marriage vows.  Stillington officiated a ceremony in which Edward plighted his troth to an earl's daughter; therefore committed to marry her.  And so, the king's subsequent marriage to another woman was unlawful and their offspring illegitimate.  As Protector of the Realm and next of kin among Edward's legitimate family, Richard was within his rights in assuming the crown.

            Bishop Stillington was not a crony of Richard's, divulging his tale at a suspiciously opportune time.  Edward IV's amorous propensities were notorious enough to make Stillington's claim credible.  Stillington was closely associated with Richard's brother, the proverbial bad-penny-Clarence.  Shortly after Clarence's execution, Stillington was detained.  He paid a heavy fine and received a royal pardon upon his release in 1478.  His offense?  Uttering prejudicial words to the king and his state.

            It seems quite probable that Stillington let the precontract between Edward and Lady Eleanor slip to Clarence.  The king's coveting sibling likely intimidated Edward with this dangerous knowledge.  Perhaps this was the true reason for Clarence's execution and Elizabeth's  interest in his punishment.  Although pardoned and released, Stillington was held the Woodvilles' enmity.  Stillington explained to Richard that the betrothal was a secret undertaking which he alone witnessed.

            On June 22, 1483, Richard rode to hear Friar Ralph Shaa, who announced, "Bastard slips shall not take root".  Friar Shaa went on to say that by God's law as well as by worth, Richard was entitled to the crown as Edward's heir apparent was illegitimate due to the precontract with Lady Eleanor.  Thus, King Edward's offspring put aside and the Duke of Clarence's son disabled by Clarence's attainder, Richard of Gloucester was the true heir of York and rightful king.

            On Thursday, 26 June, Richard the Protector was offered a petition to become King.  Parliament's acceptance of Stillington's claim was incorporated into a statute entitled Titulus Regius which proclaimed Edward's children illegitimate and declared Richard the king of England.  After Richard agreed to accept the kingship, he rode to Westminster, beginning his reign the same day.

            Richard's short reign was fraught with intrigue.  He repressed an uprising in the favor of Henry Tudor, an heir to the house of York on the wrong side of the blanket many times over.  Preoccupied with matters of state, Richard endeavored to fulfill his promise to Elizabeth Woodville to see to the welfare of Edward's children. Edward's sons, Edward and Richard, were seen playing in the Tower as late as the summer of 1483.

            Although Richard's military and administrative campaigns proved successful, his personal life crumbled. In April 1484, a messenger informed Richard and Anne that their little son was dead.  Queen Anne did not outlive her son a year; her sorrow compounded by her inability to bear other children.  A solar eclipse occurred on the exact date of Anne's death, blotting out the light of the sun as Anne's demise darkened Richard's life.

            On August 22, 1485, atop a white destrier in full armor, Richard and his troops rode to Bosworth Field to meet Henry Tudor in battle.  Richard wore his crown upon his helmet to demonstrate to friend and foe alike that a King rode into battle. 

            Although Richard's men outnumbered Henry's, two allies withheld their assistance until Richard rode into the fray.  Henry Tudor stayed behind his force.  There may be factual foundation for the Shakespearean line, "A horse!  A horse!  My kingdom for a horse!" as Richard's courser may have floundered in the marsh before Richard was struck down and killed.

            Richard's crown landed upon a thornbush where it was retrieved and placed on Henry's head.  Richard's battered body stripped bare and slung over the back of a horse, he is the only English monarch since 1066 whose remains do not rest in a royal tomb.

            Henry Tudor became King Henry VII by force of arms.  As a great-grandson of an illegitimate son of a younger son of a king, Henry's claim to the throne was precarious.  To strengthen his claim and unite the houses of York and Lancaster, Henry married Edward's daughter, Elizabeth, in 1486.  But as a bastard herself, she was not worthy of being queen.  Henry repealed Titulus Regius to re-legitimize his prospective bride.  If the young princes were alive at that time, they were more of a threat to Henry than they had ever been to Richard.  By repealing Titulus Regius, Henry made the older boy king.

            How true were Shakespeare's lines, "I must be married to..." [Elizabeth] "...murder her brothers and then marry her" and "If I did take the kingdom from your son, to make amends, I'll give it to your daughter".  Although attributed to Richard, this speech would have been more appropriately consigned to Henry.

            No one knows the fates of the princes in the Tower.  Henry VII released the information that Sir James Tyrrel and a servant named Dighton confessed to the murder of the princes and their subsequent burial in the Tower.  But his action came only after Tyrrel's execution in 1502 -- almost twenty years after the supposed crime.  Only when threatened by Perkin Warbeck, posturing as Richard's nephew and namesake, did Henry acknowledge the boys' deaths.

            In the Tower for treason against Henry, It is suspicious that Henry gave Tyrrel a general pardon on June 16, 1486.  Even more incriminating, a scant month later, Henry gave Tyrrel a second general pardon.

            The Shakespearean-Tudor myth persists...perhaps an achievement in art, but an apparent travesty to historical justice.

                                                                   Works Cited

Armstrong, C.A.J., ed.  The Usurpation of Richard III.  New York:

            Oxford University Press,  1969.

Brandewyne, Rebecca.  Rose of Rapture.  New York:  Warner Books,

            1984.

Chrimes, Stanley Bertram.  Lancastrians, Yorkists, and Henry VII.

            New York:  St. Martin's Press,  1964.

Clark, Sir George.  English History.  New York:  Oxford University

            Press,  1971.

Costain, Thomas B.  The Last Plantagenets.  Garden City, New York:

            Doubleday & Co., Inc.,  1962.

Hanham, Alison.  Richard III and His Early Historians, 1483-1535.

            London:  Oxford University Press,  1975.

Kendall, Paul Murray.  Richard the Third.  New York:  W.W. Norton

            & Co., Inc.,  1956.

Murph, Roxane C.  Richard III:  The Making of a Legend.  Metuchen,

            New Jersey:  Scarecrow Press, Inc.,  1984.

Polley, Jane, ed.  Quest for the Past.  Pleasantville, New York:

            The Reader's Digest Association, Inc.,  1984.

Ross, Charles.  Richard III.  Los Angeles:  University of California

            Press,  1981.

Seward, Desmond.  Richard III, England's Black Legend.  New York:

            Franklin Watts,  1984.

Shakespeare, William.  King Richard III.  London:  J.M. Dent & Sons

            Ltd.,  1935.

St. Aubyn, Giles.  The Year of the Three Kings, 1483.  New York.

            Atheneum,  1983.

Tey, Josephine.  [Mackintosh, Elizabeth].  The Daughter of Time.

            New York:  Pocket Boods/MacMillan Publishing Co., Inc.,  1977.

Williamson, Audrey.  The Mystery of the Princes, An Investigation into a Supposed Murder.        Totowa, New Jersey:  Rowman and Littlefield,  1978.

Memorial to Tim

Snowed in (or rather iced in) again today. So, I'm reminiscing instead of cleaning out the closets or doing something productive. Thought I'd rummage through the computer archives and update the old blog. Re-read what I had read at Tim's memorial service. I'll post it here. As a tribute. To the man I've loved for more than 35 years now. Miss you, babe.

I wanted to tell you about Tim. Well, actually he will always be Timmy to me. I wanted to share who he is to me. For someone who loves to write, it’s hard to admit that I have no words to paint that picture. These last few days, we’ve been reliving memories through family photos. And since a picture is worth a thousand words, let me show you snapshots of the man who will always be my hero, Timmy Dwane Casteel White:

Some of you know the story of how we met, but I’ll briefly share it. 35 years ago Billie took my sisters and I swimming at his apartment pool. I was almost 16 and he had just turned 21. Yet, robbing the cradle wasn’t his only theft that day because he stole my heart, too. When he asked me if I wanted a ride home on his motorcycle, I didn’t think anything of it. When we stopped at a red light, he popped the kickstand and turned off the bike as he hopped off. I watched as he went over to a car stopped beside us, pulled this guy out of the driver’s seat and proceeded to pound the snot out of him. I’m thinking, “I’m on a motorcycle with a maniac! Where is Billie with my sisters? What do I do now?”

Dazed, I watched as he stuffed the guy back in the car (mind you, there were 2 other guys in the car and they didn’t move a muscle) and walked back to me and the bike and said, “That guy hurt my sister. I kick his ass every time I see him.” And in that moment, he became my hero.

He hopped back on, started up the bike and we had only gone down the road just a bit when he said over his shoulder, “I’d like to take you out sometime.” I didn’t know what to say except, “You’ll have to ask my daddy.” Which he did…and we fell in love.

When we went to Galveston with Daddy and Billie, we saw someone trying to break into a room where we were staying. Timmy yelled, “Hey!” at the guy and he took off running. So did Tim. I know he was always skinny, but the Dallas Cowboys would’ve signed him up right then when they saw his flying tackle. He caught the guy and marched him back to the motel’s office just like you see on Cops. We got a free night out of it!

Another heroic moment was at Possum Kingdom lake. We loved camping and going to the lake. He skied with such grace. It was great to watch him ski…sailing back and forth, shooting rooster tails in the water. One year we celebrated the 4^th of July on the water with family and friends. We had our own little flotilla going with a couple of boats while we watched fireworks that night. As we rode back toward where we were camped, Timmy had to drive the boat super slow because it was so dark. Some of the guys were passing beers back and forth between the two boats as we were going along when suddenly, we watched in horror as Timmy’s brother Shannon lost his balance, slipped and fell between the boats. In an absolute instant, Timmy shut off the motor, ran and flew through the air to dive off the back of the boat. Shannon and Timmy both surfaced, and we breathed a sigh of relief. But that was my hero…in instant action.

I could tell you story after story after story. He lived his life with integrity and loyalty. He worked hard for 29 years to provide a good living for me and the kids. He loved us and protected us. He was a good husband, a good father, a good man.

You all know how much he loved to hunt and fish. Thanks, James! And he was good at it. He loved sitting in the woods. He tried to take me hunting and fishing with him and we tried that for a while until I fell asleep against a tree turkey hunting and then I almost shot him deer hunting. That’s when we figured out I was a city girl and he could hunt while I stayed home with the kids and read a good book.

Around 1999, he found a deer lease that was a bit more family friendly and I learned the joys of camping out at the deer lease complete with heating, a/c, lights and electricity.  We settled in and I could read while he went hunting. It was the best of both worlds until he got sick.

ALS or Lyme and ALS took a lot away from us, but it didn’t take away his fierce determination, or stubbornness. The doctor told us people stricken with ALS typically only make it about 3 to 5 years. I think Tim added the two together because it’s been 8 years since I finally convinced him to go to the doctor to get checked out. I wish the doctor had told him 10 to 20 years, then we would’ve had him another 30 years.

I won’t take much time explaining how courageously Tim fought ALS. Most of you have seen it. I will say that the silver lining to that dark cloud is that it forced us to face our mortality. 100 out of every 100 people die. So unless the Lord returns before us, that will happen to each and every one of us. Timmy realized that.

People say I’m strong for battling this disease alongside Tim, but it’s not my strength you see. It’s the gift that God has given me. When He forgave my sins, they were no more.

His Son saved me and His Spirit lives in me. He is the Light that shines in me for all the world to see...Jesus came to reach, teach, touch and heal. Not long after we started this journey, the Lord told me he would heal Tim. He’s done that now. Not the way I had wanted, but Tim is fully healed and enjoying heaven with His savior.

This is the comfort we have...not just that Jesus died on the cross for our sins, but that He rose from the grave and lives even now. So we can know with absolute certainty that Timmy is not dead, but more alive now in heaven. Fully healed.

That same savior reaches out for YOU. Fall into His arms and rest in His gentle strength.

We all know the verse: "For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have everlasting life."  John 3:16

Because you are so precious to Him, substitute the word "you" for "the world" and know and accept the greatest gift you could ever receive:

For God so loved YOU that He gave His only begotten Son,

that if YOU believe in Him, YOU shall not perish, but have everlasting life!

I have that assurance. Timmy has that assurance. I hope and pray you do, too.

You know I could talk about Jesus and Timmy forever. I was so worried I wouldn’t have any words to say. But I prayed for something to say and after Justin told me he’s already said everything that he needed to say, I realized that I did, too. I’ve been writing love letters to Timmy for 35 years. I already had the words I would need for today.

So I’ll finish with a poem I wrote for Timmy on our 10^th anniversary that’s still true today.

                        It's been ten long and short years since I put my heart in your hands.

                                          A neverending circle like our wedding bands.

                                                                             

                                      We don't have to recreate the first bloom of youth.

                                  We need only look to our hearts and seek out the truth.

                                                                             

                                      It hasn't been all rosy; our love's often been rough.

                                    But that young love endured and real love is enough.

                                                                             

                                        Our love gave us children who look just like us.

                                         They are the mirrors of our hope and our trust.

                                                                             

                                     These past ten years seem like a lifetime sometimes.

                           But the future holds promise because I'm yours and you're mine.

                                                                             

                                              Deep down inside I'm still the same girl

                                    Who captured your heart when you gave me a whirl.

                                                                             

                                                          You can look in my eyes

                                                             And see into my soul.

                                                       You know my every thought.

                                                             Alone, I'm not whole.

                                                                             

                                  I wish I could show you how much you're a part of me.

                                     If I could open my heart, you could look in and see.

                                                                             

                                            I celebrate each day that you share my life.

                                                     And I thank God in my prayers

                                                              That I am your wife.

I love you, Sugar Britches. I hate that you went to heaven before me, but I’m grateful that you know Jesus…and now know Him really, really well. Save a place for me, sweetheart. I love you, always and forever.