Children vs. The Workplace

                           Children vs. The Workplace

            No jurors selected.  No judge presided.  No attorneys nor plaintiffs required.  I, the sole defendant, admitted my guilt without duress, without formal charges.  My crime?  Assuming I could control my children at a place of business in order to catch up with the rat race.

            Being a seasonably single parent (married to an over-avid sportsman), I thought I could subdue the monsters of paper that moving into a new office, acquiring a new computer system, and learning that system had created at the Dallas law office where I am employed.  I seriously doubted my three-year-old son was likely to mishandle our client's trust and my two-year-old daughter speaks a language discernable only to immediate family and wet-nosed puppies.  Besides, it was Saturday and all I wanted to do was at least eliminate a few briefs and time sheets from my sky-scraping to-do stack.

            I justified hauling my children to an adult domain by balancing the career sacrifice I made earlier in the week when they were Snow White's eighth and ninth dwarfs, Sniffly and Feverish.  (Need I also mention Cranky?  The tenth oversized dwarf which described all of us?!?)  Stay-at-home moms deserve a resounding round of applause.  Frankly, whenever I'm home for longer than two-day intervals, my kids practically push me out the door!

            This incident wasn't a premeditated behavioral test for Justin and Kristen.  Circumstances just naturally evolved into an abnormal dilemma -- either take them with me or face the wicked QUEEN (office manager) on Monday.

            The day began much better than average.  We skipped over the routine delays of the "I'm still asleep", "I doan wanna wear clean clothes", and "I doan wanna go ta day school" moans.  They both thought going to work was exciting.  (HA!)  We substituted a trip to the day care center with a treat to the donut shop.  I should have heeded my first warning:  Justin wanted a gumball instead of whichever donut would crumble the most; Kristy pleaded, "Cawy me".

            We arrived in one piece -- literally.  Both were as firmly attached to my side and my leg as if an invisible umbilical cord were still present.  Nonetheless, our adventurism remained intact.  Justin pushed the alarm button on the elevator.  Kristy balked at the elevator door when she could see down the shaft.  The security guard calmly disarmed the alarm and signed us in.  He kindly chatted with the kids and encouragingly sent us on our merry way.

            Fortunately, the office was empty.  We settled in with our survival equipment -- blankets and pillows for nap time, one toy per child, a bag with a change of clothes (just in case), and a coin purse filled with change destined for the vending machine.  Again, I strayed from the narrow path.

            I turned on my calculator, booted up my computer, and programmed my word processor.  Kristy attacked the calculator (it never had a chance), Justin pounced on a keyboard.  What started out as a preschool introduction to business machines ended up as a contest of squatter's rights.  Accusations flew; chants and whines of "I wuz here fust" and "Cissy dudn't share" were rampant.

            My wonderful, errant children were admonished and provided with weapons:  seemingly harmless pencils and paper.  My desk was equipped with a variety of writing instruments; Justin and Kristy fought over the property rights of highlighters, markers, pencils, and pens that soon became prohibited.

            One of the junior partners came in around 9:00 a.m. and immediately went to work on depositions and law books with the aid of a jam box at full tilt.  I, on the other hand, came fully equipped with my own little noisemakers, but I attempted to stifle my children's antics and control the volume of their grumbling.

            The novelty of Mama's stuff eventually wore off.  I worked, they wandered off.  I typed, they scotch-taped each other.  I printed, they pouted.  We broke for lunch and I walked them to a downtown park several blocks away.  We made innumerable trips to the bathroom.

            I panicked when Justin and I misplaced Kristen.  She had gone to the bathroom "awl by hursef".  (Have I mentioned that she's VERY independent?)  Both I and the security guard heard her cries.  I calmed, held, and patted her while Justin quizzed the security guard.  Justin showed the guard his "I'm this many" fingers and the guard reciprocated with an inventory of his gun belt.

            The guard-ian angel suggested a nap may be in order and my by-then-docile offspring promised to follow his advice.  The next two hours were blissfully peaceful.  One of the few universal aspects of parenthood is the freedom and relief that accompany nap time.

            I transformed into an efficient model employee.  I returned two extra chairs to their rightful homes, renovated my then-chaotic cubicle, and worked with a quiet vengeance.  I barely finished one of my last projects when the associate appeared to say adios.  (I still think he planned his escape while the coast was clear.)

            I then attacked a few of the menial tasks that I usually push aside.  My little cherubs bumped themselves into disoriented wakefulness.  By 5:30 p.m., we had restored the office to its former grandeur, repacked our gear, made the obligatory final trip to the bathroom, and signed our way out of the building.  The ordeal was over.

            Although I have confessed my crime, I put myself at the mercy of the court to pass sentencing as time already served.  I've already put myself on probation, to not repeat this offense in the near future.  I have enough gray hairs as it is.

What It Means to Be Saved

Because God is so high in heaven,

I could not ever hope to reach Him.

My sin formed a solid barrier between us.

But even though I cowered and hid in my shame,

he knocked and knocked 

beckoning me to come -- to Him.

You see, He had planned a way

to save

me.

His beloved Son, with whom He was pleased, was sent in my stead.

In my sin, I crowned Him with thorns.

Tore the beard from His face.

Pierced His side.

Picked up the nails

and swung the hammer

that crucified Christ.

How weary I was in my sin

how sad and empty.

How heavy was that burden

of guilt and pain

that I struggled to carry

Everyday, everywhere.

But I heard a story

about an empty tomb.

His death was not the end.

and it served a purpose.

His clean, pure, innocent blood

that was shed

for sinners

such as

me

could wash

away

my sin

and make

me

white

as snow

in God's eyes.

When I said,

 "I am so, so sorry"

and meant it in my heart

and then said,

"Thank you, Jesus

for taking the punishment

that was meant for me",

He became

my Savior

and God welcomed me with open arms

because Jesus carried me to Him.

He forgave my sins

and they were

no more.

His Son saved me.

His Spirit lives in me.

And He is the Light that shines in me

for all the world to see...

that though God is high in heaven,

He sent Jesus

to reach, teach, touch and heal

and he's reaching out for YOU.

Fall into His arms and rest in

His gentle strength.

"For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have everlasting life."  John 3:16

Because you are so precious to Him, substitute the word "you" for "the world" and know and accept the greatest gift you could ever receive:

For God so loved YOU that He gave His only begotten Son,

that if YOU believe in Him, YOU shall not perish, but have everlasting life!

This is the joy of Easter...not just that Jesus died on the cross for our sins,

but that He rose from the grave and lives even now.

And that is just the beginning...of the best relationship you'll ever have.

-Angela E. White

Gonna Be a Daddy

You're Gonna Be a Daddy

© Angela E. White 1989
(written for a friend and also Kidd Kraddick) 

                                                     Since you're gonna be a Daddy,

                                               There're a few things you should know.

                                                        Like how to survive this life

                                                           With a little one in tow.

                                                                             

                                                       You have to adapt to change

                                               Changing diapers and your way of life.

                                                        You have to learn flexibility

                                                  It won't be just you and your wife.

                                                                             

                                                 Although you can't bear the children

                                                         It's impossible, that's true.

                                                        There are many other duties

                                                       That you can pitch in and do.

                                                                             

                                                          You can be there to listen

                                                     About your wife's aching back.

                                                        You can feel your baby kick

                                                   And take up the housework slack.

                                                                             

                                                      You can go to birthing classes

                                                    And prepare for the little sprout.

                                                 You can be the COACH in delivery

                                                      As long as you don't pass out!

                                                                             

                                                     After she's panted and pushed,

                                               Accompanied by an encouraging word,

                                                  Your new arrival will be announced

                                                With the sweetest yell you ever heard.

                                                                             

                                                       And then you'll be so proud,

                                                          As new parents often are.

                                                         You won't be able to wait

                                                  To get that bundle of joy in the car.

                                                                             

                                                         At first that innocent babe

                                                  Will sleep twenty-two hours a day.

                                                       You'll want to wake up Baby

                                                    So you can "Goo-Goo" and play.

                                                                             

                                                            It really is all worth it,

                                                         Once it's all said and done.

                                              But get ready for everyone's question --

                                                  "When're you having another one?"

Oma's Babies

When you were first born

and I looked into your eyes,

My love could fill a deep ocean

and reach the highest skies!

From your turned-up crinkled nose

to your tickly pudgy toes…

my love for you, sweet darling,

Just grows and grows and grows!

I love little arms around my neck

Hugging and holding me tight,

And how you fold your tiny hands

when you pray and say goodnight.

I love your lumpy, bumpy elbows

and your skinned-up knobby knees,

Little ears that hear every sound

and lips that whisper, "Please!"

All these things about you

are all things I dearly love.

But most of all is all of YOU

Sent here from up above!!!

For Jennie

For Jennie…

She was a beautiful lady

One with a beautiful heart

Sister, wife, mom and Grammy

A caring friend from the start

She was a great entertainer

With both poetry and prose

A hostess with the mostest

In stylishly elegant clothes

She traveled near and far

Made us laugh until we cried.

She fed us and she led us.

Brought class to a 4-wheeler ride

  

Outrageously and courageously

In joy and in strife

This beautiful lady with a beautiful heart

Valiantly shared her beautiful life

And so sadly, yet gladly

With certainty we know

That this beautiful lady

Is now healed and whole

A beautiful lady

With a beautiful soul

Now calls

Heaven home

With love from Angie White

Why Adopt

NOTE:  This was written for a friend of my mother-in-law who had to submit the reasons she wanted to adopt an "at-risk" child.  The sentiments are hers; I simply put the feelings into words.Done for Billie's friend, Courtney (371-4535)...Meadow Valley

Dear Child,

            I want to be a part of your life for so many reasons.  I've worked very hard to earn the chance to give you love, to read to you some of the books I've been collecting like the Jungle Book, Heidi, and Green Eggs and Ham, to hear you proudly read out loud to me for the first time, to play with you in our backyard and to watch over you while you sleep.  For five years, I've felt you in my arms.

            I want to make sure you eat your vegetables and brush your teeth.  I want to go to church together and sing while we hold hands.  I want to see your fingerprints and fingerpaints all over the refrigerator.

            I want you to drive me crazy with questions.  I want you to keep me awake late at night so I can be Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy after you've gone to sleep, to take your temperature when you're running a little fever.  I want to take you shopping and watch TV with you snuggled up with a blanket and a bowl of popcorn.

            I want to worry when you have a cold and when I loosen the apron strings on your first day of school.  To give you a shoulder to cry on and put a band-aid on a skinned little knee.  I want to hear your laughter and wipe away your tears. 

            I want to show you the difference between right and wrong.  I want you to have your own room to fill with books, games, stuffed animals, and joy.  I want to make sure you wash behind your ears.  I want you because you're a special little person.  I want you to be happy and feel secure.  I want you...to love.

                                                With love,

Dear Parent,

            I know you don't have much choice in giving up your child.  I want you to know how sorry I am that things didn't work out and that I really appreciate the chance to be a part of your child's life.  I know deep down you want what's best for your child and I promise to give your child a home filled with love and security.

            If your child has any brothers or sisters, I'll do what I can to make sure your child knows all its family.  I know how important family is.  My mother and my brother live near by and they are eager to be a part of your child's life, too.

            I have a good job as a postal clerk so you don't have to worry about your child's material needs.  I can take off a couple of months to give your child time to get used to me and a new environment and I'll do everything I can to make it as easy as possible.  When I have to go back to work, my next door neighbor will watch over your child for me when I have to work.

            I am an ordinary person with a lot of love to give to your child.  I like to read, watch TV, see plays, shop, and do crafts.  I regularly attend an old established church and go to church functions.  I don't date -- God hasn't put a relationship in my life yet; I am content to wait until He is ready.  So you see, my heart and my home are open and ready for a child.  I'll do everything I can to meet your child's emotional needs.

            Most people have to wait just nine short months for a child to enter their life.  I have waited five years and during that time, I have worked hard to make sure the child that enters my life will have the best I can offer.  Thank you for understanding that I wish it could be different for you, but perhaps this is what's best for your child.                                   Sincerely,

Liar, Liar

Liar, Liar by Angela E. White

=================================================================

(Note:  This was written within about 30 minutes while waiting in line for cancelled reservations Easter weekend; this entry won the Cedar Hill State Park’s April Fool’s Day Liar’s Contest 04/94)

I would've got me a reservation for campin' earlier, but my tractor broke down on my way here from Hawaii.  I left after lunch yesterday so I could get here in time for the Easter egg hunt tomorrow.  All my family (nieces, nephews, bruthers, sisters, moms & dads) were plannin' on attending, but we all got the chicken pox last night.  Well, we were gonna make alternative plans (we called Queen Elizabeth and she's sick with the croup), but we decided, "What the heck!"  Not everyone was really itchy and the boys were likely to get into poison ivy anyway, so here we are -- on the waitin' list.

I parked my yacht in the Kmart parkin' lot and hitchhiked down here.  Mel Gibson picked me up in that same car -- you know -- the one he drove in Lethal Road Warrior's Weapon.  Anyhow, he dropped me off at Texas Stadium (where I had to turn down Jerry Jones' coachin' offer) then I stole Troy Aikman's horse and moseyed over to The Ballpark where I talked Nolan Ryan into given pitchin' another try and a ride back here to the State Park.  He dropped me off and was immediately abducted by aliens who kinda resembled a cross between Mork and Tonya Harding (go figure!).  Anyway, I hope he makes it back to the ice before the whole team's in the penalty box.  So, as I wuz sayin', I'm just patiently awaitin' in line for Elvis to show (hey, the kids believe in Santa and the Easter Bunny and I believe in Elvis!  Wanna make sumthin' of it?)

Soooo...here I am waitin'--- I bin waitin' for forty days and forty nights.  For gov'ment employees, these folks sure are nice, but slower than my grandpa's favorite laxative (a combination of red beans, peaches, and coffee grounds).

Waitin' in this here line reminds me of the time I was waiting for a slow boat from China.  There I was, trapped on Gilligan's Island waitin' for "De Plane!  De Plane!" when I found out it wasn't comin'.  I had to make a Lear jet out of banana peels and coconut hair.  This discovery incidentally rewarded me with millions from salon formula hair products -- Plane Mane.

Well, I'm movin' up the list so fast, I'm liable to get a speeding ticket for exceeding the speed of sound.  Thank ye for yer patience and I hope you get some treatment for that itchy twitch you've developed -- you must never have had chicken pox or thought you couldn't get it just from reading.  Just shows to go ya!

Sincerely,

Angie White

P.S. I didn't use my real name or address -- I'm really Christie Brinkley in disguise, but don't tell anyone who doesn't already know!